I don't have any photos for this post; even words are hard to come by. What started off as a day to celebrate another year of learning and growing in my motherhood at MOPS morphed into a day of mourning the lost motherhood of another.
Remember Jessica? She was my best friend through most of middle and all of high school. I was her maid of honor, while she was mine. She's now an Army wife and 35 weeks pregnant -- I wrote about her and her preborn baby here.
I dreamed about baby Fig last week. She was a girl and in a beautiful red dress. Because of the lack of amniotic fluid, ultrasound techs never could tell what Fig was, even in Jessica's 3rd trimester. Yet when I woke up, I knew my dream was correct. I knew Fig was a girl.
And she was. Yesterday, May 14, Fig arrived 5 weeks early, heart beating and as beautiful as the Alaskan wilds outside her hospital door. She had a thick head of hair. Her ears and nose were a little smushed from her unique womb experience, but otherwise she was perfect.
Jessica and her husband Ryan named their firstborn Hannah Leigh. Her long legs stretched her out to 17 inches. Her body weighed only a little over 3 pounds.
Jessica's and Ryan's hearts feel much heavier than that right now. Because after half an hour, Hannah Leigh left her parents behind. She never cried.
I made up for that this morning.
The name Hannah means "grace and favor." It amazes me that this little girl has demonstrated exactly those qualities in such a short amount of time. Just like Samuel Collins and Josiah Beers -- 2 other beautifuls that touched the multitudes, including me --she has changed my life.
Because of Hannah's Multicystic Kidney Disorder, we knew she most likely was headed for an early meeting with Jesus. But I still prayed for her healing. I still hoped a miracle would happen.
And though it didn't happen the way I pictured it, a miracle still took place. In precious Hannah's entire life, she never once felt fear, hate, worry, doubt or sadness. She only knew love -- the soothing sounds of Jessica's voice and heartbeat, the warmth of her daddy's embrace, the purity of her parents ' bond pulsing through every fiber in her miniature body. Then, after a half-hour lovefest, she met the One who loves children more than His own life and immediately began enjoying her perfect eternity.
That certainly sounds like a miracle to me.
(Would you pray with me for Jessica and Ryan? Right now, tomorrow, next week and next month?)